I won the lottery two years ago when I was offered a job at a small media company in Brisbane.
I had an inkling it was going to be good fun. I had met the crew before and they were both exceptionally good looking. Like really, really Good Looking; Zoolander-esque.
Looking back as I prepare to tearfully depart, it’s been a damn fine few years. Much to my flatmates chagrin I have often bounced home in the afternoon declaring I’ve had “the best day ever.” Or, worse, on a Sunday night I sometimes tell the roomies I am excited about getting back to work. They look at me as if I’ve developed a pustule-like tropical disease. I can see the fear in their eyes as they worry it’s contagious.
For those of you not lucky enough to be pushing a mower in the Great Outdoors, offices can be a real treat. Aside from the perils, including the real risk of developing admin ass (the flattening of the buttocks due to large amounts of time spent sitting idle) and the possibility of consuming too much cake at the ubiquitous morning and afternoon teas; there is a great amount of fun to be had in offices.
I find there is a good six hours a day that can be spent developing puns. Ah, the wittiness coming out of my office puts Ricky Gervais to shame. Perhaps he could put some Extra effort in to get up to our lofty standard.
Another good way to pass the day is to practise shooting paper wads into the bin. My boss loves this game so much he misses on purpose, at least I think that’s his caper. I’m certain he cannot actually be that bad at the game.
When you tire of that, it’s a good time to bring in extra props. 3D glasses from the movies, for example, are excellent value. The glasses provides a great distraction when Judy from O H and S is being a pain in the ask. Plus, you can see things in much greater detail, in three dimensions at least.
Another great way to burn a 15-minute slot is Song of the Day. Each office member takes a turn to show the others how terrible their taste in music really is. There is great potential for judging others in this little event. And you’re likely to find out who is a raging commo and who is a fascist.
I also recommend finding an employer with a young child. They provide oodles of fun. I especially like magic tricks which require you to casually “close your eyes” as a tiny trinket is stowed away up a sleeve. It’s so endearing to see the look on their face as they say “see, it’s disappeared,” and flounce off. It really completes the day.
I also like to indulge in a spot of singing here and there. This one is actually not for everyone. Luckily, I have the voice of an angel, so it creates a nice vibe in the office.
Extra-curricular activities are also important. There was the time when I had to research Brisbane’s best bars. I still wonder if getting paid to achieve mild inebriation will be the pinnacle of my career. The lesson there is to find a job where you share common ground with your employers. A shared love of booze won’t hurt anyone, at least in small amounts.
A shared love of hot milky beverages is also important. Some of the best creative-brainstorming/procrastinating occurs when a strong latte or a cup of tea is on the table.
Enhancing your career is also a bonus in the office stakes. Yesterday somebody told me my writing had vim. After I researched the word – and what a fabulous word it is – I put that compliment down to my years here. In a leafy street in the Brisbane ‘burbs I learned to write.
The lesson here: a collegial environment is nice. Try to learn from your colleagues.
This means you have to be open and realise the person sitting at the desk beside you is likely to be much cleverer than you are. In their school tests they probably placed a little further to the right on the bell curve.
That’s ok. If you leave your ego at the door they can probably show you how to use an apostrophe and spell the names of political parties.
Mostly, I recommend you find people to share your days with that you genuinely like. It’ll make getting through the slog like slicing through butter with a sharp, hot blade instead of trying to put a ten-person tent up in a gale.